so school is getting more and more stressful.
this week miss plu made me all stressed about nyssma and now i have to do good on that.
and now we have to start ap studying, eek... i havent really started and we're supposed to be on like our 7th hour.
but aside from the ap stress, school is still really stressful. i feel like im finally starting to actually have a grasp on it, but still having like a big project due this friday for a book i havent read doesn't really help.
this weekend was fun though!
on friday i saw lotti, and everyone was so great.
it was so awesome..... like everyone in it told me that it was going to be really weird and bad, but it was actually really great and easily understandable.
so after that, came the trip to city line.
dont wanna talk about it. :) haha.
so then yesterday, i worked until five. then i went to the drive in with a bunch of people.
lets see- jade, emma, alex, isaac, ian, max, charles, rachel, and i.
it was a lot of fun. ironman was so badass. then later on me and ian went to wendys and shadily had to sit in the parking lot and eat.. since they only keep the drivethrough open late..? what bitches. but yeah. that was fun.
and today i worked again. i got maybe 1 2 minute break in about 3 hours. it was death.
but now im not studying, reading, or doing something that could catch me up to where i need to be.
but whatever i dont care! well i actually do care, a lot, but.. idk whatever. ha.
okay.
GOOD BYE.

i can't do it anymore
im so upset with my choices
i've lost my focus in life.
d i s t r a c t i o n.
its a bitch to me.
its hard for me.
making decisions decides to fuck me up
i think everything will go smoothly.
then i jsut go back to my old ways.
i think i need to get away from all these distractions.
my life needs to stay in the right direction.
its already veering into the wrong lane.
i need to change.
i need to grow up.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

so everyone.
new year.
new changes.
whatever, new new new
all the old shit didnt go away.
i'm relieved 08 is here. i just hope it goes well.
a lot of big things coming up
permit/license/car.
16 AH
first ap this year? fuck.
okay whatever new and old blah blah blah

i need to figure things out
i mean i've made some pretty big decisions recently.
but its not all finished.
i just hope i don't regret anything.
i wish i could live life just like this-
i will never regret single thing i do.
its so hard to do,
but it makes life easier

i need to stop telling people things. it doesnt get too far but it doesnt do me any good. i'll tell specific people, but i dont plan on telling as many people things as i have. i think this year will make me more mature.


aside from me being philosophical towards my own life,
chloe's turning 16 this friday.
that means i'm turning sixteen within..... 20 days according to today?!
holy fuck. i think i'll enjoy being sixteen. OMGSH sixteen sounds so exciting
14 and 15 were kinda boring. but 16. yay
i really need to get my act together.
i need to do better in school. i mean i got a 94 first quarter... unweighted like a 89..... but still,
thats first quarter. of course its getting harder.
i'm hoping to post more in this.

hi everyone.
its a couple of my friends birthdays.
today was an interesting day.
saras car broke down in front of julias,
being awkward at twist and shake,
playing 20 questions,
getting pancakes at 8pm.
pirahnas? sure.
i enjoyed my two days off.
i really did
yesterday was awesome with rachel ian and emma.
it was good because i realized things that needed to be realized.
and today was fun with amanda sara and taryn.
i love city line.
i love my new friends
i love my old friends
i need to go on vacation.
like i need to
my darker skin tone is missing me down in lbi.
and i need to be with someone
specifically i know who that person is,
they have no clue.
cstf, four more performances.
then strike. then hang out with friends.
AND THEN LBI!!!!!
slkdjhskdlfjghskldfjgh im so excited to be down again
i need to go more next summer.
i dont want to do cstf next summer.
i just want to spend it down at lbi.
i cant wait for my sister to have a baby
its going to be so decked out.
bugaboo stroller, burberry diaper bag,
clothes ALL from like nordstroms.
its ridiculous.
thats how me and my sister roll.
i love my family
im happy where i am
i need someone special
aside from that,
i love life.

i'm sitting on my bed
looking at everyones pictures of vacation
thinking of why im still here.
clarkstown summer theater festival.
please be over
i need to go away
get away from this boring place
i love everyone
i just need a vacation.